I had trouble trying to focus on something, anything, today. I should have been writing but my brain was uncooperative. I spent my night last night coughing incessantly. I got almost no sleep at all. The coughing had stopped, but now it started again.
Previously I talked about character adaptations and what I disliked about certain superhero movies… Batman & Robin aired on Warner Channel moments after I published that post and today I watched Daredevil. Daredevil is the reason why I nearly threw a hissy fit at the thought of Ben Affleck as Batman. I know that it wasn’t his fault that Daredevil was awful, but it was his face I saw at every hilariously terrible frame of that film. If you read the title of this post and you have watched that movie you know what I’m about to talk about… It’s one of the most retarded scenes in a superhero movie ever… It’s the playground fight scene. Now, there is one scene that I consider to be stupider than this one, but we’ll get to that in a moment. If you’re unfamiliar with the infamous playground scene in Daredevil then I have challenge for you:
Watch this without laughing:
Now, there are a lot of scenarios where a spontaneous sparring session is considered an acceptable form of flirting, but Matt Murdock is a lawyer randomly fighting this woman he only just met on a playground. She doesn’t want to give him her name and doesn’t like being touched, but being grabbed from behind by a heavy breathing stranger is apparently much more attractive. Ookaaay then. >.>
This scene got me thinking on other scenes that I found in superhero movies that are just ridiculous; whether they are meant as serious moments or comic relief (I’m not sure which this one is suppose to be, honestly).
Catwoman – Even I know that this isn’t how basketball works… Or flirting for that matter:
What the fuck was that? Seriously. What are those people trying to do here? And what the hell is wrong with kids in these movies? These questions… They need answers. @.@
So yeah, that was the scene I said was worse than the playground scene. I honestly don’t understand what is up with these writers. Do they think comic book fans don’t know how flirting is supposed to look like and they can just write whatever nonsense crosses their minds? I would love to have been there on the exact moment someone thought up that scene so I could do this:
(one of the funniest cartoons ever btw)
And then beat them with the nearest heavy object until the thought left their stupid mind entirely.
Just for a quick reference, this is what I consider genuinely witty flirting:
Yes, it’s River and Eleven… Yes, I thought they were just adorable… Moving on. >.>
Batman Forever – The Riddler. Just… THE RIDDLER:
I hate this movie. I hate this movie so much. Why did they dress up Ace Ventura as the Riddler for this? The Riddler is an intelligent villain, or he’s supposed to be, not a goddamn… Pelvic Thrusting… Fool.
On the topic of Batman….
Batman & Robin – Mr. Freeze and… all… the… freaking… puns:
Alright, we knew it would come to this.
Before I add any clips from this movie and its horrible portrayal of Mr. Freeze, I’d like you guys to watch this in case you’re not familiar with Batman The Animated Series’ portrayal of Freeze so you’ll maybe see why this enrages me so much:
Freeze is a tragic villain, he only wanted to save the love of his life. That episode of the animated series (Heart of Ice) was absolutely brilliant and beautiful.
They took all of this amazing dramatic potential and threw it out the goddamn window, choosing to put the character in the hands of an actor who… you know… can’t act. Schwarzenegger is awesome for several reasons; don’t get me wrong, and I actually quite like him, but he can’t fucking act. They put the Terminator on the role and made it so 99.9% of his lines are terrible ice related puns… and this is what you get:
The only portrayal of Victor Fries in a Batman film. There is no justice in this world.
Spider Man 3 – Evil Peter and all his ridiculous dancing:
I have two videos for this one… You don’t have to watch them both, pick either one and you’ll get the picture, but this is so hilariously terrible that I just couldn’t help but include both scenes:
What’s with all the goddamn dancing Peter?
I didn’t hate Spider Man 3, I’ll just say that right now. I didn’t think it was bad to the level of Batman & Robin, Catwoman, or even Daredevil. I even get what the writers were trying to do here, if I force myself to be objective. That said: Noooo… Just nooo. Why must movies piss all over my favorite villains!? Whyyyy? I was so excited to finally see Venom in a Spider Man film and this is what they gave me! WHY? *grabs pillow and screams into it*
I’m okay. *breathes*
HONORABLE MENTION TIME!
This fight scene is actually quite good it’s just… the girly-Wolverine/Mystique that is just so… silly… the girlish scream she gives when Wolverine slashes through her claws, I just… *giggles* Haaaha… *snort* I love this scene, but holy crap, can’t watch it with a straight face.