Songs That Annoy The Sh*T Out Of Me

*looks at title* oh, hey another one. Nothing has ever annoyed/scared/any other emotion the shit out of me. That’s disgusting as hell. Why would I even write that? Wtf is my problem?

Ehem.

I’m in a list making mood lately, as you can see. That’s mostly because I’m sick as hell still and can’t be bothered with much else. Whatever brain cells are still useful are being saved for working (slowly) on my book. I refuse to stop writing unless I actually cough out a lung; in which case not sticking to my schedule will be the least of my problems. >.>

Before I get into this list lemme just say that Gangnam Style and that goddamn fox song (you know the one, don’t pretend you don’t >.>) would totally fit this list, but I’m still not going to include them. We all know those songs are fucking annoying, no one needs me to remind them.

Since these songs are so goddamn infuriating, at least to me, and someone may want to be a sport and watch all the videos in this post, each entry will be followed by a much better song from the same artist (if there is one, if not I’ll add a random good song of my choosing).

Beyonce – Single Ladies

In my household we call this ‘the chicken song’. When my nephew was little he liked watching music videos and it was pretty much the only way to shut him up for a bit, so… Yeah. Anyway, the first time he saw this he called the choreography a silly chicken dance (watch with that in mind and you’ll see he did have a bit of a point there; the way they run around in circles with their arms like that… just… just… look at it lol). One given day, after we had watched that about a thousand times because of how much the kid thought it was funny, my sister and I sang along to the video, replacing the lyrics with chicken sounds. It makes me laugh now if I happen to catch it playing somewhere because I remember that, but I still consider this song annoying as fuck.

Good Song: Destiny’s Child – Emotion

Yes, I’m counting this as a Beyonce song; I don’t care. Yes, it’s actually a Bee Gees song; don’t care. The point is that I like Beyonce, she has a beautiful voice (bonus points for acoustic guitar, I kind of like it better than the original just for that). I just can’t stand her songs for the most part. Still, none of them ever annoyed me as much Single Ladies.

Black Eyed Peas – My Humps

Oh, God… My IQ just dropped a few points. So yeah, this is a song about Fergie’s butt, basically. Or generally speaking it’s about women extorting money out of men with the power of ass/boob-hypnosis. That’s totally a thing; Google it (okay, I’m kidding, please don’t do that). All of that doesn’t bother me as much as how fucking terrible it is. There isn’t one sound in that song that’s even remotely pleasant to me. And you know what, Fergie can actually sing which makes this so much more insulting.

The Good Song: Fergie – Big Girls Don’t Cry

Fergie what were you doing shaking your butt at those losers when you could have been singing stuff like this?

Aerosmith – Drop Dead Gorgeous

I was an Aerosmith fan under the influence of my eldest brother for a great part of my teenage years and even though I don’t like them THAT much anymore I still love their music and I regret nothing. In my time as a fan, communicating with other fans, I remember that when Just Push Play came out it was considered the worst Aerosmith album yet. While I don’t necessarily disagree, there are definitely some great songs there. I’ll demonstrate in a bit. However, there is one thing that never changes about Aerrosmith, no matter what album you talk about: Joe Perry can’t… fucking… sing.

The Good Song: Aerosmith – What It Takes (Live)

I was going to choose a song I actually like from Just Push Play to prove that it’s not all bad, but… Remembering Aerosmith is like remembering an old friend I really don’t talk to any more. When I do, I want to remember our fondest moment and for me it’s this one. I remember first hearing A Little South of Sanity and loving this version of What It Takes. This recording is from 1998. When I finally saw them live it was 2006. They played this song and it sounded exactly like this; 8 years later. I cried a little. >.>

Gwen Stefani – Hollaback Girl

Uuunnnnngh, I HATE YOU. *breathes* I’m okay, I’m okay. This song, it’s just… gah… I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I don’t hate Gwen Stefani most of the time. I liked her in No Doubt and I like her as a singer, but… THIS SONG! It’s stupid. It’s so stupid and pointless and WHY IS SHE JUST SPELLING THE WORD BANANAS!? *sounds of things being destroyed in a rage fit*

The Good Song: No Doubt – Simple Kind of Life

I liked No Doubt when they made songs like this, or Don’t Speak; another great song. I couldn’t find a single Gwen Stefani song I like unfortunately. Oh well. If Destiny’s Child counts for Beyonce then No Doubt counts for Gwen. Fair is fair. lol

The Darkness – I Believe In a Thing Called Love

Ugh, this song was so fucking popular over here. It’s not really that bad, but… I’ve heard so many times, over and over and over… Now I just can’t stand that dude’s high pitched squealing anymore.

The Good Song: Queen – Crazy Little Thing Called Love

A better song about a thing called love. Heh. *shakes head* I honestly don’t understand how Freddy Mercury was considered sexy back in the day, but whatever. The dude was an epic singer, that’s all I care about. ^^”

There are other songs that really annoy me, but I think I made this long enough; maybe I’ll make a part 2 of this another time. For now I think I’m going to end this post on a good note.

B.B

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