10 Things People Have Asked About My Nationality Online

You know, in light of the occurrence that fueled the rant on my previous post, I decided to be a better sport and shed a more humorous light on people ignorance. So here is a list partly inspired by OM’s recurring posts about Asians.

People don’t usually think much of my nationality when it gets mentioned, but when they do, weeell…

1) “Oh, so you live on the beach?” No. And I honestly don’t even like it that much.

2) “Can you explain soccer to me?” No. Eleven Twenty two actually (see, I really can’t explain this stuff) dudes running around for 90min trying (and mostly failing) to get a ball into a goal thrice as wide as the door to my apartment is more complicated than rocket science. Unlike baseball which is oh so simple and totally more exciting.

3) “Is it true you’re allowed to have pet monkeys where you live!?” Unfortunately no.

4) “What the fuck do you speak over there if not Spanish?” Portuguese: Not Spanish. Not Brazilian. POR-TU-GUEEESE.

5) “How do you even have a computer? I thought everyone was poor over there.” I made it out of coconuts. It runs on potato batteries and monkey poo.

6) “If it’s Summer over there now, then when do you have Christmas? (honest to God)” When Hell freezes over. That’s the only way we’ll ever see any real snow.

7) “Are women there as beautiful as they say?” Women are never as beautiful as anyone says anywhere. Ever. That’s a myth, like unicorns. Plus; they’re all automatically out of your league – all of them – the moment you ask that question.

8) “So you like bananas?” I would love to be eavesdropping on this person’s thoughts the moment they read my nationality. I’m 99% sure I would have heard a voice shouting “BANANAS!!!” in there. But yes, I think bananas are yummy. I make a pretty great banana-chocolate grilled sammich too. Yep. 🙂

9) “Do people there like to party all the time?” Possibly. Do we actually party ALL the time? Hardly.

10) “Are you sure? I never would have guessed!” Yes, I am sure. I wouldn’t expect you to guess since the only way you could possibly was if I had downloaded the ‘Samba Font’ and vowed to use it in everything I write online anywhere.

And I’m not fucking doing that



9 thoughts on “10 Things People Have Asked About My Nationality Online

    • Ooooh, and are you allowed yo have a pet monkey there? o.o

      I’m moving…

      Although India is probably one of 3 countries that are hotter than it is over here. Yeah, never mind. :/

      I’ll see if I can find my notes on how to make that coconut computer for you. It’s pretty useful if you ever get lost in a desert island for some reason. *nods*


      • You’re not allowed to keep a monkey here, legally. But if a monkey decides it likes your house and wants to stay, nobody can do anything about it. At least that’s what my cousin said about his monkey.
        And it is probably hotter than Brazil here…but that’s good for me since I cannot stand the cold at all!


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