10 Things I Believe Should Be Permanently Banned From Acceptable Female Behavior

1 – Ordering a salad and then taking food from someone else’s plate. My country didn’t elect a female president so that women continue to make pathetic attempts to pretend they’re not cheating on their diets. Not to mention having food taken from your plate is INFURIATING. Ladies, the only reason men won’t punch women in the face for doing this is that it’s not socially acceptable. That’s why women never did shit like this in the 1950s.

2 – Complaining about how ‘omg men won’t stop hitting on me all the time!”. Unless you have some kind of mental problem that compels you to have sex with anyone who as much as hits on you, you’re not being harmed in any way here. Stop whining.

3 – Immediately assuming that all men are perverts and all attractive women are whores. I know this is hard to believe, but sometimes pretty girls get jobs because they’re competent and not because they fucked their very happily married employer. Go figure.

4 – Demanding that all human beings with ovaries give a crap about babies. I’m sorry, but if it’s not born in my immediate family, it’s not worth my swooning.

5 – Talking about celebrities’ love lives as if they were actually relevant. They’re not. Not ever.

6 – Asking for opinions you don’t really want. No one will ever say you don’t look fat in those pants quickly enough to make you believe it. Just give it up.

7 – Pet-naming people you don’t like. If I don’t like you and you don’t like me, the moment you utter a ‘hun’ or a ‘sweetums’ or any similar ‘term of endearment’ I will slap your bitch-face. Just don’t.

8 – Acting like it’s a personal offense when I don’t agree that the pretty boy you like from that movie is attractive. I’m sorry, but I still say Channing Tatum is just ‘meh’.

9 – Forcing people who don’t like shopping to go shopping with you. I don’t like shopping.

10 – Those stupid “A man can’t…” phrases that I’ve heard a disturbing amount of times. “A man can’t be abused by a woman” “a man can’t be raped by a woman” “a man can’t be victim of gender discrimination”. Yes, they can! Anyone can! For fucks sake, stop saying shit like that!



10 thoughts on “10 Things I Believe Should Be Permanently Banned From Acceptable Female Behavior

  1. I agree. Specially 2 is super awkward because I never know what to say.
    And the shopping thing. If there’s a chair around, it’s usually okay, but sitting on a chair while someone else shops is apparently rude. Even if you’ve told that person that you hate shopping.

    Liked by 1 person

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