I’m Losing My Shit

Picture this, with humans, on top of a goddamn cliff: Welcome to my daydreams.

Some days are built to aggravate you. It’s true. Today has been one of those days for me. Just all afternoon was one annoying task after the other and when I felt safe enough to sit in my chair and attempt some writing I was promptly interrupted by yet another chore.

No, it isn’t about my mom’s phone this time. I said I wouldn’t bitch about it and I won’t… much… I’ll try… but seriously…

Because a lot of the stuff here is in my name: my mom’s cellphone bill, cable TV, internet… so on, so forth… I have the lovely task of handling it when these services are being shitty or non-functional.

I tell people I’m a writer and still live with my mom and brothers and they immediately think I’m some idiot who can’t hold a job or handle responsibility or whatever else they think. You know what? I fucking run this place. I may not be a provider right now, but if I wasn’t here to do it the bills wouldn’t get paid, the groceries wouldn’t get done, the fucking microwave would NEVER get cleaned and all our shit would be broken. Don’t get me started on the goddamn laundry… or the goddamn dishes. Don’t get me started on how my brother would ever feed himself if he lived alone. I don’t fucking know and once I can afford to live alone I won’t fucking bother; he’s 39 years old!

And birthdays? Fuck birthdays! Because no one is capable of saying what they want for their birthdays, but they expect SOMETHING. So I have to decide shit and coax my brother into figuring out if we have money to pay for it, and THEN have him tell me we don’t so I have to decide something else entirely.

*sigh* I need a break.

B.B

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