So, Wifey and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day… and before you go “Well, duuuh” on me and start questioning the validity of internet marriages, what I mean is that we pretty much just dislike the whole thing. I never celebrated it and if I did I wouldn’t do it today. Because Valentine’s Day in Brazil is in June (don’t ask why, I don’t know… Probably because Carnaval is in February and nothing short of the apocalypse is allowed to get in the way of that).
That said, in honor of our peculiar and stalkerish ways, Wifey and I declared this date to be Stalker’s Day and instead we celebrate that.
So I woke up from my nap and was thinking “Hmm… How can I get my blog readers in proper Stalker’s Day spirit?”
Then it hit me that I haven’t done a musical top list here in a while and I was like “Aha! Yes, we can!” Because I know a crapload of creepy stalkerish songs (90% of which are on Luke’s playlist). So let’s get to it, yes?
The Devlins – Waiting: I’ll just be here in the friendzone… watching and waiting and watching… wherever you go…
I love this song. I love it to pieces, but seriously dude… Whoa. He’s everywhere this person goes, waiting for them… to be friends… or something…
Yes, this is on Luckas’ playlist.
“What is a friendzone?”
Oh, Lukey… The friendzone is Aiden’s problem not yours. Your problem is… somethin’ else.
I’d tell you but I’ve had more than enough clown nightmares, thank you very much.
James Blunt – You’re Beautiful: I saw you once… THIS IS A TRAGIC LOVE STORY
Look, if you like this song; I do get that he’s making peace with the fact that he’ll never see this woman again and that’s the point of the song. BUUT… You have to agree with me that stalking often starts in a similar way. Someone randomly makes eye contact with you… To them it means nothing, but in your mind it was a MOMENT and one that you both shared. So the protagonist of this here song, should he see this woman again, is going to take this delusion to the next level and try to see where she goes, try to find out her name… and then all the little adorable steps that lead to a restraining order.
Nickelback – Never Gonna Be Alone: okay, let’s just be friends maybe…
Okay, if you saw my Sappy Music top list and you’re a bit confused with my choice: don’t be. They’re not mutually exclusive.
This video has lyrics, so let’s see if you can think like a stalker… Why is this song creepy? It’s right at the beginning. Take your time. Read the words… Do you see it?
Alrighty then, my pretties, here it is…
Now I’m wondering why I’ve kept this bottled inside
So I’m starting to regret not telling all of it to you
So if I haven’t yet, I’ve gotta let you know…
You’re never gonna be alone.
Do you see the problem with this? The object of this person’s affection doesn’t know of their feelings and their way to declare themselves is vowing to be by their side for every single fucking moment FOREVER. Are we to assume they have a say in this? Because it really doesn’t look like it. ^.-
Nickelback (yes, again, REALLY) – Follow You Home: The violent psychopath stalker love song
Okay, what the hell man!?
Listen, guys… If a woman is this intent on killing you, she’s not playing hard to get… For fucks sake, give up and go home!
“I’d beg to differ. A little bit of physical stimulation is key in a romantic relationship after all.”
Well, Amber, you’re not the typical lady, now are you?
“Typical is boring as hell, don’t ya think?”
Heh, I suppose you have a point there, kiddo.
“Beast Boy is a lucky bastard.” *snicker*
“Oh, Lukey… You have so much to learn about physical stimulation… If only you’d let me show you a thing or two…”
“I’d rather live, thank you.”
Skillet – Whispers In The Dark: I don’t need to explain this one, now do I?
And yes, I know what the song is supposed to be about, but COME ON.
Now, there’s more, but the truth is I got very distracted listening to music while picking up these videos and wasted a ridiculous amount time writing this post. So… TO BE CONTINUED…
In acknowledgment to the traditional holiday… For you normal people… Some Valentine’s Day crap: