Hogwarts School of Prayer And Miracles Chapter 05 (With Commentary)

[Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4]

It’s pretty late, but I’m coughing non-stop and it’s keeping awake. So I’m gonna try and do this one before I fall asleep on the keyboard. Let’s see how I manage.


Chapter 5: A New Friend?

Author’s Note: Hello, friends! I’m very sorry if this chapter is a bit shorter than usual [yay]; because just as soon as one sick little one gets better; wouldn’t you know it; another one starts running a fever. Whew! A mommy’s life sure is exhausting. I wasn’t planning on posting another chapter until things had settled down; but the hubby says the work of the Lord doesn’t wait for the whims of men. So you can all thank Ephesians 5:22-24 for the speedy update =) Ooh, and on that note-some of you lovely readers have requested me to write down the Bible verses after each chapter. Well, far be it from me to not spread the Word of the Lord! [well, this might be somewhat educational at least]

Another question I have gotten-in the “original books” [these quotations don’t make sense], Harry Potter and friends frequently question authority; and how do I feel about this? Well, that is quite a toughie you’ve asked me! I talked to the hubby about it; and we agreed that usually, it is good to obey authority; but when authority is acting contrary to the Lord; you should talk to that authority about it! Acts 5:29! You just might see authority figures making bad decisions in this chapter-nobody is perfect except the Lord; no, not even Dumbledore, no matter what “the original books” told you-and how Harry Potter handles this will be a big question in the story. Hint: it will be very different than the “original books!” [Hint: it’ll be stupid]

And finally-I got a “PM” from a lovely friend who was a bit confused; so I’ll just clear this up now: I do not own the “original books”; and those belong to JKR!

So, without further ado-

Harry Potter woke up drowsily in a comfy, fluffy mattress. It was only now that he had the energy to observe his surroundings. The room was small but also everything a little boy needed; there was a big, warm fire place in the grey, stone wall across from him; a shelf of intelligent, age-appropriate books-the Holy Bible was in the center of the shelf, of course!-and there was a simple, wood dresser of respectable, school-appropriate attire; and of course a clean, porcelain sink for washing up and brushing teeth and such.

It was only then that our hero noticed that there was another bed in the room. It was the same as his own bed; except that this other bed had not been made. Also, this bed had its own Bible in it; and it looked different from the one on the shelf. But where was this new roommate of his? [oh no… please don’t….]

Harry looked behind him to see a small, pallid young boy with shockingly bright red hair [oh, COME ON] kneeling with seeming piety as he prayed to a small statue. At this shocking sight, Harry felt a horror; but he quickly composed himself; and declared bravely, “Hello, friend! My name is Harry Potter; and I take it that we are roommates. What’s your name?”

“Ronald Weasley,” the other boy responded friendlily; and he reached out a hand to shake. “Welcome to Hogwarts. I am a Christian, too.” [that was… kind of a given if it’s a Christian school ^.-]

“Really?” Harry exclaimed delightedly; and clasped his hands together. “This is joyous news!”

Ronald smiled deviously; and Harry remembered that he had just seen this boy praying to a statue; and he wondered why that would be; but he was new to this whole Christianity thing; and maybe that was okay. Still, it didn’t feel quite right. He bravely resolved to would bring it up with Dumbledore. [Wooow, ginger discrimination, much?]

“Would you like to come with me to breakfast?” Ronald queried politely; as he got up from the statue he had been kneeling in front of. “They have delicious food here in the Great Hall.”

“Would I ever!” Harry cried delightedly; and he bolted out of bed; and brushed his teeth; and washed his face. This little one certainly had a healthy appetite!

In a jiffy, Harry and his new friend had joined the stream of young lads on the steep, winding stairs heading to breakfast. They could smell the aroma of breakfast from the Great Hall; and it wafted right into their noses! Before they knew it, they were all sitting in the Great Hall.

“Come sit with me and my family,” Ronald offered eagerly; and he motioned frantically toward a table packed full of people with hair just as red as his. “Come on come on come on; I can’t wait for them to see that I have made a new friend!”

Harry followed Ronald with the obedience of one who does not have many friends in a new situation. Oh, what a difficult circumstance that can be-and how many believers have been led astray by those situations! [foreshadowing…. you’re doing it WROOONG]

“Guys, guys, guys!” Ronald screeched joyously as he pulled Harry toward the table of his family. “This is Harry Potter; and he is my new roommate.”

“Hello, Harry!” the Weasleys chorused in unison. “Welcome to Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles!”

“H-hello,” Harry stammered shyly. Something about this group made him nervous. [they’re GINGERS! Muwahahahaha…. Ehem… Sorry… I’m sleepy. That can sometimes make me… weird… moving on] “Nice to meet you.”

He sat down at their table. He could smell a delicious breakfast-but where was the food?

No sooner had the thought crossed his mind when the Reverend Dumbledore came onto the Great Hall’s stage; and dropped down to his knees; and raised his hands skyward; and screamed, “Dear Lord, please provide these devout young ones with three strips of bacon or links of sausage each-two for the ladies [^.-]-a bowl of hardy oatmeal flavored with cinnamon and apple chunks; two poached eggs cooked all the way through; home fries seasoned with garlic; a glass each of orange juice and milk; and dishes up to the task.”

Harry was once again amazed to see the food appear in front of him. The food looked and smelled amazing. He suspected good old Minerva [we remembered she has a name, did we?] had something to do with this delicious spread!

But before he dug into the food; he remembered that he had something to discuss with the reverend. Harry fought his nervousness; and he ran after Dumbledore as he hopped dexterously off of the stage.

“Excuse me!” the young believer cried innocently as he ran after the reverend as fast as his little legs could carry him. “Excuse me, reverend!”

“What is it, son?” the reverend reiterated kindly. He was dressed respectably in sturdy, manly jeans and a red, white; and blue plaid shirt over which a few virile tresses were visible; and a pair of admirable, brown cowboy boots [mommy’s cowboy fetiche hasn’t gone anywhere, I see…]. “Are you settling in alright?”

“I sure am,” Harry retorted graciously. “How are things with your family?”

“Very well,” replied Dumbledore knowledgeably; and he was impressed with this little one’s manners. “Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Well,” Harry began uncomfortably; and he scuffed his blue-sneakered foot against the polished wood floor of the Great Hall. “I woke up this morning and saw my roommate praying to a statue. Is that really an okay thing to do?”

“That is a real toughie,” Dumbledore answered ponderously. “Well, I don’t worship idols. It is, in fact, a very un-Christian thing to do. But you see, here at Hogwarts, we divide ourselves up into Sorting Hats. After breakfast, all the new little ones will choose their Hats. Each of the different Hats have different beliefs; but we all love the Lord! And what more in common do you need?” [The students pick the hats? Sooo the sorting hats don’t actually do any sorting, so they?]

“That does sound true,” Harry pondered sensitively. “But is it really? It seems that, if we all really love the Lord, we don’t need to divide ourselves. Are the divisions between the different Hats really so significant as to merit dividing Christianity? What are these divisions?”

“Well, they are somewhat significant,” Dumbledore allowed tentatively. “For instance, I am a Gryffindor Hat. We believe everything in the Bible; and only the Bible. That redheaded roommate of yours is a Slytherin Hat.” [*sigh* whatever]

 “And Slytherins worship statues?” Harry queried innocently.

The reverend nodded gravely.

“Then how are they Christian?” Harry questioned skeptically. “What about Exodus 20:4-6? That’s a ten commandment!” [you’ve been Christian for a day, you annoying little twat]

“Well, they have different commandments,” Dumbledore explained well-meaningly. “They love the Lord; and that is all we need.”

“But do they really love the Lord?” Harry posited timidly. “If they do; then why do they worship statues?”

“Dark days are coming,” Dumbledore replied earnestly. “We need to be inclusive. [tolerating someone just because they’re useful is not what being inclusive is] If there were only Gryffindor Hats at Hogwarts; then there would not be many people left.”

“I see,” Harry conceded uncertainly as he walked back to Ronald’s overcrowded table. He was getting nervous about this Hat business; but he supposed he did have to trust Dumbledore. After all, grownups know best, right?

Author’s Note – Blessings! [you’re a horrible person]

Ephesians 5:22-24: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Acts 5:29: Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, “We ought to obey God rather than men.”

Exodus 20:4-6: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; and shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.


Okay, this was… Ugh… I’m sorry; Ron was my favorite character. I was kind of hoping not to see him in this, but yeah I should have seen it coming. And, despite what my thoughts may be, I’m obviously not commentating on the Bible passages; I don’t believe it, but I respect it sooo… I’ll keep it to myself. 😉



9 thoughts on “Hogwarts School of Prayer And Miracles Chapter 05 (With Commentary)

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