Relationship Guide For Psychos ep. 01: Dating

The title of this post is a bit of a joke, I don’t plan on making any weird advice columns on this bog any time soon. It’s just that I have been rereading some things. And I found this bit of dialogue in one of the flashback scene Wifey and I wrote with Ess and Luckas:

“So, if we’re dragging around a body, does that make this a date? Or is that just for dead bodies?”

Essence’s eyes lit up when she covered her mouth in an attempt to hold back a laugh. “Do you want it to be a date? It could be. I don’t see why we only have to bond over dead things.”

“Well, I don’t know Lady… I’m not sure what that even means exactly… I do know I’d much rather have Stalker tagging along than Lena.” Luke chuckled as the wolf barked at his words as if in agreement. “And I do enjoy cake very much.” He added, in a innocent and playful tone. “So I guess this is going better than the last one.”

“I don’t know if I really know what it means exactly either. I..well, I know the traditional sense of it but in my experience it was always fake and forced. I also don’t look at myself as the traditional type of woman, which is probably why I like having you around, my Dear Luckas. Also, the occasions usually involve food so I guess they count.”

“Hm, so… Food and mischief by your standards constitute a date? Does that mean you and Jake have dates as well?”

Ess’ skin turned a beet red, her eyes darkening as if she meant to argue or get offended. The idea of Jake and her relationship being compared to her and Luckas’ disgusted her. She didn’t think it was confusing since she thought of Jake as family and that was as far as her interest went. But, Luke did have a point when mentioning the similarity. The more she thought about it the more her expression shifted to one of melancholy, her cheeks fading to a soft pink. Ess knew her first reaction wasn’t fair and so didn’t speak until she could figure out how to exactly respond to Luckas. She opened her mouth more than once, still nothing came out. Every time she thought she could explain it, she thought of more reasons her words would confuse Luckas.

“I…Well…you see…er..” Essence sighed, staring off as the other pups came over to sniff circles around Stalker. “People….who date…it’s usually to see if they would ever want to be more than friends. Family don’t flirt or have impure thoughts about one another. I…am not sure how to really explain it actually…except that, the life I led back then, for all those years…never..NEVER would any of that be a thought with Jake. Do you understand that much at least, Luckas? I’m sorry if I’m not always clear. It’s not intentional. How about this; I have not gone on ‘dates’ with anyone else but you. Does that help?”

“Hmm…” Luckas mumbled under his breath as he listened. He did understand, to some extent, what Ess explained to him, but the confusion never left him completely. He did understand about Jake, that much was clear enough to him, but some other things only seemed to raise more questions than provide him with answers. “Alright, so… Eating and getting into trouble alone doesn’t constitute a date… I’m not sure if I understand what you would consider ‘impure’ thoughts exactly though, Lady… Rather, I wonder what one would consider ‘impure’ exactly.” He snickered under his breath, not pushing for an actual answer, as if he was simply thinking aloud. Luckas nodded, seeming pleased with Ess’ statement that she had not gone on dates with anyone else. “That does actually help a bit.” After falling silent for a couples of moments, watching his feet as he paced, Luckas raised his head and spoke, backtracking a bit on Ess’ explanation. “Are we… Seeing…?” He mumbled, shooting her a questioning glance and not quite finishing his thought at the sound of a familiar cough, his eyes catching sight of Jake suddenly coming out from behind a tree and forming an annoyed glare.

God damn it Jake… >.>

But yeah, that always makes me laugh. It was one of a few instance of Luckas trying to somewhat define his relationship with Ess and I think his only attempt to outright ask her… Nice timing there, Jakey, really. *frowns*

This scene is also after Luckas’ first time having cake… Which, yeah… Led to him and the wolves developing a mild addiction.

About the title of this post… Wifey and I joked a long time ago about writing a relationship advice book for psychos based on our experience writing these two. Because when it comes down to it, when Ess and Luke have problems they will have their screaming fits, random bouts of violence, he’ll walk away and be pissy for a while, she’ll possibly cry a little bit and then he’ll come back and they’ll have an honest chat and sort things out from there. Their relationship – whatever it is – is honest to God healthier than a lot of marriages I’ve seen in real life. >.>

In case you’re curious though… Luke and Ess’ ‘first date’ entailed the physical and mental assault of an elderly man, then going back to her place to mutilate and murder some dudes, then dumping their bodies. And yeah; Lena was there too.

Fun times. 😛



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