Hey, guys! Haven’t done one of these in a while, sooo… Welcome back to this thing… I just want to take the time here to apologize and express my condolences for the loss of any brain cells while reading this here work of literature and also say thanks for not… you know… unfollowing the crazy badfic addicted Bird during this here reposting spree. You guys are great. 🙂
That said, we’re almost reaching the halfway mark… Let’s get into this, shall we?
AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet [she took your swteet!? That bitch!] ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! [uh-oh… trouble in paradise. Y’know, I have to admire Britney for not holding a grudge over the fact Tara calls her a bitch and worse in her story every other chapter… Good for you Britney]
We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!
“Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them” [wait, so…. What? Did she just imagine the previous paragraph then and they never actually went? WHAT? Two paragraphs in and I’m completely lost. =_=]
“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what. [seriously? You’ll fuck in a goddamn forest, but you won’t talk about sex? SERIOUSLY?]
“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.
“We won’t do that again.” Draco promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”
“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?” [wtf do you want, you psycho bitch!?]
“NO.” he muttered loudly.
“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.
“Enoby! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.
I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!
“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. [I bet if Voldemort sang her some annoying emo ballad he could convince her to kill Harry in a jiffy]
B’loody Mary was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” [oh dear God] she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U! [aaaw, but you gurls were so good together! 😦 ])
“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.
Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Willow will die too.” I said.
“Kawai.” B’loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly.
“Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”
“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. [nothing ‘cuter’ than murder and necrophilia, right? Yeeeaaaah]
“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”
B’Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.” [why? ALL you do in this thing is get dressed… I’d assume you fucking own enough clothes! Fucking hell]
“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.
“No.” My head snaped up.
‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody Mary are u a PREP?” [I’m just gonna go bang my head against the wall until this part is over]
“NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that’s all.”
“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.
“Dumblydore.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.”
“OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?” I asked quietly.
“Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”
We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.”
“Da real goffs?” Me and B’Loody Mary asked.
“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”
“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. [omg, I honest to God thought this was funny… I need psychiatric help. Also… lol ‘huge slit’ >.>]
“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.
“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody Mary.
“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked. [aaaand you’re fired]
“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s ebondy dark’ness dementia TARA [aaaaw, cause we’re mad at Raven… Aaaaw] way what’s yours?”
“Tom Rid.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.” [this is what happens when you spend all the names on your main char…. you just can’t think of new original ones anymore]
“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!” [how is he a perv?] I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!”
AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn’t rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr! [aaaaw]
Tom Rid(dle) gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. “WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Willow came [iiiw… plus, isn’t she dead and necrophiliac’d?]. Hargird went away angrily.
“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.
“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Willow’s really pretty and everything. [aw, come on Raven, she’s clearly trying here!] She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. [that’s not a good thing, Tara. AT ALL]
“So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?” she asked.
“Yah.” I said happily.
“I’m gong with Diabolo.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. [blah blah, clothes make up] He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B’loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel [lol] but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.
Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice [ethnic!?]. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes… Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was…….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! [ugh, time loops of doom]
“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Draco!”
“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.
Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…………………………………DUMBLYDORE! [gasp!]
AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! [aaawww] ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!
I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.
(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. [they were probably in the trunk of Draco’s cat, just in case] Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)
Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. [okay, so far we have black and pink pants and some pastors… Fair enough]
“WTF!” [that’s what we’re all thinking, Ebondy] I shouted going to sit next to B’loody Mary and Willow. B’loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.
“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came [everything came. EVERYTHING. Imagine that for a second. (I am so sorry)]. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.
“……………….DUMBLEDORE?1!” we all gasped. [We all knew it was Dumbldore Tara, because unlike you we don’t immediately forget what just happened at the end of the fucking paragraph. Although we certainly wish we could]
“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!”
“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover [All together now: MOVE. THAT. BUS! *crickets* What? I like that show. >.>]. Whjat do u fink about it?”
Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.
“BTW you can call me Albert.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes. [weird seeing as that’s not his fucking name, but whatever]
“What a fucking poser!” Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything. “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Willow shouted. [more likely to be some form of demencia given his age and the fact he WANTS to imitate your stupid bunch]
I was so fucking angry. [so am I, cause I’m not halfway through this piece of crap yet]
Once again guys, thanks for sticking around for this. I’m going to try and get back into some kind of posting schedule again. I’ve had to prioritize more these past couple of weeks and spend more of my writing time on projects and what little was left was spent with Wifey, so… The blog got neglected. I’m doing my best to get back in the game though. Just bear with me. 😉