Hello, hello guys! Guess what? I’m still alive. I am not, by any means, fully recovered yet, but I am feeling better. I’m slowly going back to normal. I’m slowly going back to writing. My sleep schedule is… ugh… fucked up, but otherwise, I’m almost okay.
That said, today is a very interesting day. Today is the day outside of time, according to the Mayan calendar.
Now, I’ll admit that the only reason I know this is because the first day of the year in the Mayan calendar is my birthday and as a kid, first hearing this, I thought that was a pretty big deal. The last day of the Mayan calendar is July 24th, which makes July 25th a day that exists in between the end of one year and the beginning of the next. It’s considered a day of reflection, of looking back on the past and preparing for the future. It’s an interesting day to have right before your birthday.
A while ago when Wifey and I decided to create a calendar for Valcrest, I gave it its own day outside of time in the form of the Day of Creation. It’s the one day in the year when Valcrest stops. The cities open their gates, the Wolves are not allowed to spill blood, and everyone celebrates. Such a special day, I decided, deserves its own place in between the pages of a calendar. It’s the one moment the entire country stops to take a breath before yet another year of chaos and survival.
I don’t know what it says about me that the world I invented in order to escape reality is actually more chaotic than the real world. I’m sure it would say something fascinating about my inner self, or… Just what we all know; I’m a bit of a sadist and I like splodies. 😉
Either way, it’s going to be a whole new year for me, starting tomorrow. Another year of chaos and survival, of self doubt and self-loathing. Of not wanting to see anyone in order to avoid that same question I’ve been asking myself for years now; what have I got to show for? I know what I’m doing with my life, but then… Is it worth it?
If I’m 100% honest I’ll admit that I don’t care. These questions aren’t going to disappear no matter what I do. They’re a part of the path I chose in life. Right now I can’t be bothered with answers, really.
Today I’m just going to stop and breathe. Tomorrow I’ll celebrate. And the day after that, well… The day after that is just another Monday. >.>