Hogwarts School of Prayer And Miracles Chapter 09 (With Commentary)

[Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8]

*groan* *hiss* *growl*

I haven’t even read this chapter yet, I just know it’s gonna piss me off. >.<

Let’s just… Get it over with. I have someplace I need to be in half an hour.


Chapter 9: A Letter At Dinner!

Author’s Note: Hello, friends! I apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out; but-I have good news! Starting tonight, I will be taking a beginning writer’s course at the local community college! Through all the hate from Evolutionists, Feminists, and Romanists, there has been some legitimate criticism of my writing skills. My mother did her best; and she certainly did teach me a lot; but grammar was not her area of expertise. It’s taken some convincing-the hubby wasn’t sure I’d have time to get everything done if I start taking this class-but I’ve written up a schedule; and I think we can make it work =) [Well, let’s see how that works out… I am less than hopeful]

One week into the school year, Harry was slowly, gradually starting to get used to the everyday routines at Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. There was breakfast in the Great Hall every morning; and then there was a prayer session led by the Reverend (the Slytherins went off to have their own “prayer sessions” in their own way; and the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws prayed with the Gryffindors; but the Hufflepuffs complained about the Reverend quoting the Bible; and the Ravenclaws complained that the Reverend didn’t seem to really hate sinners; he just hated sin). After the prayer session; the little ones all went to their classes-there were regular math and English classes, of course-although they were of a higher caliber than one would find in a Public School-and then there were Bible Studies and Christian History. [No biology, huh?]

After that was lunch in the Great Hall. After lunch were more classes about American History [at least My Immortal is more subtle with the Americanism… Oh God, I just used ‘subtle’ and My Immortal in a sentence! *waits for the world to collapse*]; and Constitutional Law [I’m not even gonna go too far into this, I’m just going to wonder how much understanding of Constitutional Law a ten-eleven year old can actually get]; and Missionary Training. After these classes was dinner in the Great Hall; after which the students had free time.

It was just such a dinner that Harry was eating now. He was sitting with his new friends: Hermione, Ronald [wasn’t he in cahoots with Voldemort, Harry? ^.-], and Dean Thomas.

“This food certainly is delicious!” Harry observed gratefully; and he was savoring a bite of perfectly roasted chicken.

“It really is,” Dean Thomas concurred intelligently. He was dressed quite respectably today; and he was wearing a button-up shirt and clean blue jeans; and his hair was neatly combed.

Hermione nodded in agreement; and the yellow bow she had tied her hair back with bounced up and down. [*bangs head against desk furiously*]

Ronald grinned widely but remained silent as he shoved another handful of deep fried brussel sprouts into his little mouth. Ronald ate breakfast and lunch with his family; but he was eating more and more dinners with these Gryffindor friends of his. It never ceased to amaze him just how nice they were to him, even though he wore a different hat. A little unconditional [Oh, Ronald, I pity you] friendship can really go a long way in a person’s heart!

It was then that a bunch of beautiful people with wings wearing glowing white robes swooped in through the Great Hall’s huge windows. Yellow halos hovered over their heads; and they wore brown leather satchels around their shoulders. They gracefully reached into their satchels and gloriously flung envelopes down to the students below.

[Okay, I’m sorry… I’m not religious so someone who is might want to correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it a bit… uh… Insulting… To have angels do the jobs performed by birds in the original books? I mean… Uh… A mailman could have been a decent replacement really. I mean, why… WHY angels? Just…. Just… I need help with this…]

[Thank you, my point exactly. >.>]

“The mail’s here,” Dean Thomas observed accurately; and he shielded his eyes with his hand as he gazed up in wonder.

Harry propped his chin up on his hand and dreamily watched these magnificent postmen distribute their wares. He did so love to look at angels! [I’m sorry, one more time…]

He was surprised when a letter fluttered down to him; and it landed lightly on the table in front of him. He had never gotten a letter before! He smiled innocently at the angel who had delivered it; and the angel waved back.

“Would you look at that,” Dean Thomas uttered fluently. “You got a letter, Harry.” [Thank you Dean, I’m glad you’re just as useful in this story as you were the original ones. =_=]

With excited hands, Harry broke the seal and took out the parchment that was inside the envelope. He laid it out on the table and saw the familiar slanting tidy handwriting.

Dear Harry-

How are you enjoying your first week at Hogwarts? I hope you are enjoying it a lot! How about you come over for tea this evening after dinner; and you can tell me all about it.

-Hagrid [oh look, they’re having tea! That’s about the only British thing to ever see the light of day in this fic!]

Harry smiled as he folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. Good old Hagrid!

“What does it say, Harry?” Hermione questioned shyly; and she played with one of her smooth, lovely curls. [NO. Just NO. NOOOO…. *smacks herself in the forehead until her eyes get blurry* @_@]

“Hagrid wants me to come over for tea,” Harry reported excitedly. “Would you all like to join me?” [You’re not going to check with Hagrid if it’s okay to invite a bunch of other kids to his house? Huh, Mr. Manners? No? Okay then.]

“I’d love to,” Hermione replied sweetly. [STOP WRITING HERMIONE. YOU’RE NOT WORTHY]

“That sounds like fun,” Dean Thomas responded eloquently.

“Could I come?” Ronald asked tentatively after he had swallowed his brussel sprouts.

Harry, Hermione, and Dean Thomas exchanged a knowing look [unconditional friedship, kids!]; and then Harry answered kindly, “Of course you can.”

Ronald smiled gratefully before going back to his brussel sprouts.

When dinner finished, Harry got to his feet; and then he declared boldly, “Let’s go!”

Author’s Note: Blessings! [Die in a ditch!]


I’m hurting. I’m literally hurting. And that’s probably because I actually slapped myself in the forehead, A LOT. I kid you not. Every time Hermione shows up in this thing it makes me want to injure myself in some way… I… I don’t know how I can go on… I’m… *sigh* I’d never thought I’d say this after surviving Cupcakes… But this fic is actually breaking me. *rubs temples* I should have let Luckas murder every single one of this characters in the last chapter before I have to be subjected to the idea of ANGELS DOING THE WORK OF FUCKING CARRIER PIGEONS! PIGEONS!!!! IT CAN’T GET MORE FUCKING INSULTING THAN FUCKING PIGEONS!!!!


I’m sorry. I’m sorry guys… Like I said, I’m not religious but… As a writer I believe that all mythical beings should be treated with some level of RESPECT! GODDAMN IT!!! *bangs head on desk*

Gah. I wasn’t kidding… I really have somewhere I need to be by 3pm and I probably shouldn’t have put myself through this before having to interact with innocent people who have never seen the horrors of this piece of shit fic.

*sigh* I need some Tylenol now…



4 thoughts on “Hogwarts School of Prayer And Miracles Chapter 09 (With Commentary)

  1. Pingback: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles Chapter 10 (With Commentary) | Blackbird's Nest

  2. Pingback: Hogwarts School of Prayer And Miracles Chapter 11 (With Commentary) | Blackbird's Nest

  3. Pingback: Hogwarts School of Prayer And Miracles Chapter 12 (With Commentary) | Blackbird's Nest

  4. Pingback: Hogwarts School Of Prayer And Miracles Chapters 13-14 (With Commentary) | Blackbird's Nest

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