Word Aversions

We all have them don’t we? That word, or those words, that just feel like a dentist’s drill into our brains when we hear it.

I have one word that annoys the shit out of me above all others. I see it anywhere and just want to punch whoever used it in the mouth.

And I know what you’re probably thinking “Oh, it’s ‘moist’. Everyone hates the sound of that word!” Neh, I’m okay with ‘moist’. Wifey however… Not so much.

No, my most hated word is ‘peruse’, or ‘perusal’, or ‘perusing’… any form of that verb really; it just needs to DIE.

There are two reasons I hate this word; 1) the way it sounds makes me want to scream. I don’t know why exactly, but it DOES. 2) The only reason anyone uses that word is to prove they know it in the first place.

Think back to every conversation you ever had in your life: Have you, or has anyone you know, ‘perused’ something? Who says that? Douchebags. Douchebags do. >.>

Hey, douchebags, here’s a list of perfectly acceptable words to use instead:

Read, study, scrutinize, inspect, examine, wade through, look through; browse through, leaf through, scan, run one’s eye over, glance through, flick through, skim through, thumb through, dip into… I could go all fucking day.

Just stop with the ‘perusing’ people! It’s a horrible, horrible, word!

Likewise… There are words that should never be used in some contexts. As in erotica.

Look, I read plenty of smut. I’m not afraid to say it. Writers need to read and… certain scenes… I’m not so great at just yet; you gotta watch and learn. That’s besides the point though.

Smut writers love euphemisms and analogies and me…. Not so much. I like the stuff that is not so embellished. Embellished doesn’t necessarily mean well written to me. Just say things like ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’ and most importantly ‘wet’. Don’t use ‘moist’ in smut. A LOT of people cringe at that word. A LOT. And in this context I’m definitely one of them.

Two words I hate in explicit sex scenes are ‘slurp’ and ‘slobber’. Look, there are two reasons I don’t usually watch porn; yeah a lot people do and that’s okay. It’s 2016 so let’s not pretend it’s something only depraved people and horny teens do. However I don’t watch porn because 1) it’s either not explicit enough or way too explicit. I want to at least believe those people are doing it, but I don’t want to see up their butt holes, know what I mean? and 2) I’m easily put off by certain sounds. Slurpy and slushy sounds… Make me gag. That’s why I’d much rather read, because if there’s a blowjob scene in there it doesn’t irk me as much. Unless the writer was kind enough to use the word ‘slurp’ and ruin it for me. Or slobber. Why do you need to specify that there’s drool involved in the act of someone putting a dick in their mouth? Of course there is, dumbass, but I don’t need to picture every bodily fluid involved in sex. In fact I’d rather not.

And I’m just talking for myself, maybe someone’s into that. Everyone is into something, I suppose. On my end… Just.. NO… STOP. *shudders*

So there you have it, guys… What words annoy the hell out of you and in what way?

Let me know in the comments, if you’d like. đŸ™‚



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