REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY: Patreon Only
What I will Not Review:
Literature: I will not review non-fiction, poetry, graphic novels, or sci-fi. And this should go without saying, but I also won’t review works that are yet to be published unless requested by the author.
Television: Full TV Series (animated or live action), Reality shows, Doctor Who or The Walking Dead episodes (not on request anyway)
Film: War movies, Sci-Fi, Drama, musical, silent films
What I Will Review:
Anything not mentioned above can be requested. I will consider any movies and I will do specific episodes of shows or animated series so long as I’m at least familiar with it. Any fan fiction you struggled to read is welcomed because apparently I hate myself.
I don’t have an issue with NSFW stories, but be warned that unless there’s an actual plot to sustain it, those types of stories tend to bore the hell out of me.
Whether I accept a request or not is entirely up to me. So keep that in mind.
If you want to ask me to review 50 Shades of Grey (the movie or the book), The Twilight Saga (movies or Books), or Grey. Don’t unless you want me to suffer through these enough to gift me the books/movies. Because I’m not paying to torture myself. I haven’t reached those levels of masochistic behavior yet. This already backfired horribly.
How I Will Review It:
If you request me to review your book I will post a review on Amazon, Goodreads, and wherever else you’d like me to, but those reviews tend to be a rating and paragraph or two of whether people should or not buy the book. The actual in depth review will be done on the blog.
Fan Fiction reviews have a rating system based on elements I deem important on a story. I usually give a little summary on the story then go over these elements one by one before giving the fic a final score.
Movie reviews won’t be done too often. I suppose either the movie has to be really great or really shitty for me to want to review it. If I do I’ll just go over my feelings on the movie and whether I like it or not.
The “With Commentary” type of review is reserved for truly, truly, horrible pieces of fan fiction or Creepypastas. So if you want to request one of those, it’d better be about something I can properly tear apart. Otherwise I won’t suffer enough getting through it to make it fun. Keep in mind that I’m only taking requests like this for one-shot stories. Fan fiction commentary series are currently not open for requests and they may never be.
What You Can Expect:
We all have different preferences and we are all biased about certain things and these reviews, no matter the subject, are entirely my opinion. I’m not a professional reviewer and I’m not a critic. I do these for entertainment purposes and to give (some) exposure to other writers who may need it. Don’t expect these to be too analytical and don’t take them too seriously.
That said, aside from the “With Commentary” series, I will do the absolute best to be objective and provide a fair assessment of works sent or suggested to me. I don’t praise without merit, but I also don’t bash anyone or anything ever.
If You Send Me Your Book Please Understand:
Book reviews take the most time, so be patient. This is not my job and I’m taking from my personal time in order to do this.
I am not selling positive reviews and I will not read your work and review it ‘only if I like it’. Once you request a review from me and I accept your request, I will be writing an honest review.
I will not to refrain from posting on Amazon, Goodreads, or whatever else if my reviews are unfavorable. Where you want me to post reviews is going to be established before I read the book and is not negotiable afterwards.
Reviews posted in places where people may go to purchase your book will be written with the potential customer in mind, based on whether I would recommend your book to its intended audience. The review I write on the blog will be written based entirely on my personal enjoyment of your book as it has no standing on how your book performs on any platform. I can; and will, still recommend books I don’t particularly enjoy to readers if I feel they are objectively good and just not for me. I am perfectly capable of making that distinction.
I will not take down a review at an author’s request for any reason.
I am prone to using curse words in my blog posts. If you want me to review your book and this bothers you, I can refrain, but it’s a good idea to let me know beforehand.
It’s okay to email me on occasion to ask how the reading is going.
I am not an idiot. I will never share or copy any work sent to me by an author; nor would I allow anyone to even read it over my shoulder.
It’s okay to question or reply to my opinions on my comment section. Like I said though, don’t take these way too seriously. And if you disliked something I said about your work and act like a jerk about it I will most likely never read, review, or recommend anything from you again even if I think it’s good. As a writer, I don’t condone that sort of behavior.
How To Request a Review From Me:
Use the Contact Form here on the blog to send me an email.
Please state that the email is about a review on the subject line. Title it any way you want, just get across the point that it’s about a review. Working the word ‘review’ into it is a good way to accomplish that.
If you want me to review fan fiction or Creepypasta, provide a link. If possible to the original posting so I can look up and credit the author. If it’s something you wrote, please say so in the email.
If you want me to review a TV series, or cartoon episode, include the name of the show, the season, episode number and episode title.
If you want me to review your own book, provide me some information on your work such as genre, word count, whether it’s self published… and whatever else you’d like. Chances are I won’t say no, but don’t straight up send me a book before I have a chance to say yes (yes, this has happened).
Unless I’ve read something from you before and your book was already on my wishlist, you’ll have to provide a free copy for it to get reviewed. If your book turns out to be something I would buy for myself, I will do so regardless of getting a free copy.
When all is said and done, if you liked the end result, consider buying me a coffee. It helps the blog stay active. 🙂
Book reviews so far:
Ordinary Handsome, by Steven Baird – Rated: Yay!
Down The Wormhole, by Ana Franco (ARC copy) – Rated: Yay!
Joshua’s Island, by Patrick Hodges – Rated: Yay!
Diary Of a Wimpy Villager, by Cube Kid – Rated: Meh
The Mind Readers, by Lori Brighton – Rated: Nay
Fan Fiction With Commentary:
Requested Reviews: No review requests pending
Disney Revisited: Alice in Wonderland
Fan Fiction With Commentary:
Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 3 (NITWIT might take longer to come back to >.>) Discontinued for now.
Harry Potter and The Curse Child Part 3
Twilight: Chapter 4 (at some point)