Relationship Counselling Meme (Cake edition)

I just answered this on deviant art and thought I’d repost it here.

(And yes, we are officially referring to these two as ‘Cake’ here in the Shadows Crew headquarters).

I’m only coloring the questions this time  around because my head really hurts today and screw colorful things. >.>

So, you’ve been brought in today to talk about your relationship to each other. This is for those special couples who believe the other person to be “the one”, not for those who are still in their first week/month. Understood?

Crys: “Sounds simple enough.”

Jake: “Okay, but I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”

Crys: “Jakey, be nice.”

Jake: “Hmph.”

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Character Interview 02: Jacob

Character Partner Interview

1. Who is your partner? Tell us a bit about them.

Crystal Rivers is my partner. She’s… Hard to describe, really. Crys is one of those people who you just feel comfortable with immediately and you just don’t know why.

2. How did you meet, and how did you get together?

After my sister died, Crys’ father saved my life and when I woke in the Wolfpack’s camp I don’t know how much time later, she was literally the first face I saw.

As for how we got together, well… I fell in love with Crys really fast, but when it came down to saying or doing something about it; not so much. It took us almost dying and she had to take initiative because I was too much of a coward. Yep.

3. What is your partner’s best physical feature?

Hahaha… She’s gonna kill me for saying it, but Crys has freckles and I think they are absolutely adorable. But she hates them, so I try not to say anything.

So officially it’s her smile. Crys has the most beautiful smile in the Universe.

4. Name one hobby or passion of theirs.

Music. She’s always playing her flute, or whistling, or humming. The latter not as much, because she doesn’t really like her voice; she avoids anything close to singing.

5. Name one thing you like about their personality.

Just one? Hmmm… She’s very, very, very, forgiving… Of all my nonsense. *smirks*

In all seriousness; Crys is the single most compassionate person I’ve ever known and I admire that a lot about her.

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Character Interview 02: Crystal

Character Partner Interview.

1. Who is your partner? Tell us a bit about them.

Partner sounds so impersonal… Pfft…

Jacob Allen Turner is my partner. He’s currently a Black Knight of Newhaven, although he was previously a Wolf and a mercenary.

Jakey… He’s infuriating in so many ways, but I don’t know what I would do or who I would be without him. He’s my best friend, the person who knows me better than I know myself, the one I think to run to when the world becomes way too overwhelming to bear. And I love him.

2. How did you meet, and how did you get together?

I met Jake after my father brought him in. I was only twelve then, Jake was ten, needless to say we go way back.

I… Told Jakey that I loved him after we got back from nearly being exploded in the Newhaven castle. I’m not sure how much longer he would have stalled it if I hadn’t. In his defense though, I admit that I gave him a hard time throughout our entire friendship. And I still do sometimes; force of habit.

3. What is your partner’s best physical feature?

I like his face. It sounds like a weird way to phrase it, but… Yeah. Despite that stupid scratchy stubble. Jake has a very pleasant face, even more so when he smiles.

4. Name one hobby or passion of theirs.

Is getting in trouble a hobby? Because I’d have to say; that’s always been his number one activity.

5. Name one thing you like about their personality.

Jake would do absolutely anything for someone he loves without a second’s hesitation.

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Character Interview 02: Luckas

Different character interview now and it’s for characters who have a significant other, so I’m not going to answer with everyone this time (although depending on how things progress in the RP I may come back to it with some characters later *wink wink*)

This is the Character Partner Interview. I got it from deviantArt. So yeah… Let’s do this.


1. Who is your partner? Tell us a bit about them.

Uhm… You mean Lady? 

Yeah, Luckas, we mean Lady.

Lady is my ‘partner’?

*sigh* For the sake of this interview, yes. I know it’s a weird term for you, but I didn’t write the questions, okay?

Alright, fine. What kind of stuff am I supposed to say?

Anything you feel is relevant.

Okay, okay… Lady’s name is Essence Talon. I call her Lady because… It’s short for Pretty Lady. She’s a lady and she’s pretty. I’m not very creative with nicknames. And I quite like her… We understand each other which is really a rare thing for me. Thus I hang around her as much as I possibly can.

2. How did you meet, and how did you get together?

I killed this guy in an alleyway in Newhaven about five years ago. Lady was passing through and she witnessed it. I went into her mind to erase her memories of me and my crime, and some telepathic weirdness ensued. Apparently we subconsciously mind-stalked each other ever since.

A few months ago we ran into each other again in the NH castle and she recognized me, I remembered her, one thing led to another and we killed some people together.

3. What is your partner’s best physical feature?

Hm. Her eyes, I think. I like the way they change when she’s happy.

4. Name one hobby or passion of theirs.

Lady’s quite the artist. And she also likes to sing.

5. Name one thing you like about their personality.

She always tries to understand me, even when she’s mad. I appreciate that. I know how frustrating I can be sometimes.

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Sam’s Bitchiest Move (Yet)

Amber’s presence in this post made me realize I never really talked much about her other than she’s psycho. Welp, I think her participation in this might end up painting a picture lol. Regardless, I need to write a post about her, because at this point she’s become my favorite NPC. She’s just incredibly fun to write in the sense that she may do literally anything at any give moment just to amuse herself. She’s fiercely loyal to Sam, but other than that; she just doesn’t give half a fuck and it’s hilarious. Well, for me anyway. I’m pretty sure Luckas was less than amused here.


Luckas was a bit confused to find Amber waiting for him instead of Adam in the training field that afternoon. The girl smiled sweetly as he approached, her blue eyes sparkling in childish delight. That was a bad sign. A very bad sign. Luke knew that much for sure.

“Nice of you to show up, Lukey! Ready for today’s exercise?” She asked, grinning widely.

“Hmm…” Luckas mumbled, looking at her with suspicion for a moment before glancing around in search of Adam, sincerely wondering if she had found a way to dispose of the man to take over the training session. “What are you doing here? Where’s Adam?”

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Luckas Better Not Hear You Say That…

Read this in a Tumblr Post:

Romantic Stalking. I don’t know why this is a thing. Stalking is never romantic, it’s a creepy invasion of privacy. Overly “protective” and possessive guys are not romantic, they’re abusive. 

If anyone ever said to Luke’s face that he’s abusive to Ess he would rip out their guts and shove them down their throat. Then, I don’t consider Luke possessive. Protective; yes, territorial; definitely, but not possessive. In his mind he’s taking care of her because that’s what you do when you like someone. >.>

Also, you don’t want to know what Ess would do if someone ever said to her Luckas is abusive towards her. You’d rather deal with Lukey. 😛

In general though, I agree with that post. All of it. I’m just saying, all cliches work when done right. And you know, I like to think we do it right. >.>


One Step Too Far…?

I wrote, yesterday while my internet was dead, this random scene where Ali and Eric have a vicious argument and she says something outright cruel to him and he just slaps her right in the face.

Now, Ali wouldn’t take something like that quietly. I mean, she’s a trained killer, you’d not expect anyone to just bitch slap her and get away with it, but she just… walks away… I can just see the look on her face and it’s just breaks my heart a little.

I was rereading that right now and that slap feels so much more brutal than it physically is. So I’m having serious doubts whether I’ll actually use this because it makes me cringe. It makes… ME… Cringe. I don’t normally cringe at anything short of forced cannibalism (again; thanks for that Wifey. 😛 ).

And now I feel silly, because these are two characters who have killed before with considerable ease and who have suffered (or will suffer) physical pain far worse than something like this. For context I’ll let you know that Ali is beaten half to death within my first five chapters. What’s a slap in the face in comparison? And yes, what she says to him does warrant a slap in the face in my opinion. It is an overreaction for Eric, but not by much.

What’s weird is that I don’t even question whether it’s too much to nearly break her every bone with that aforementioned beating, but THIS bothers me.

*sigh* I don’t think I understand how morality works anymore. ^.-


Relationship Guide For Psychos ep. 01: Dating

The title of this post is a bit of a joke, I don’t plan on making any weird advice columns on this bog any time soon. It’s just that I have been rereading some things. And I found this bit of dialogue in one of the flashback scene Wifey and I wrote with Ess and Luckas:

“So, if we’re dragging around a body, does that make this a date? Or is that just for dead bodies?”

Essence’s eyes lit up when she covered her mouth in an attempt to hold back a laugh. “Do you want it to be a date? It could be. I don’t see why we only have to bond over dead things.”

“Well, I don’t know Lady… I’m not sure what that even means exactly… I do know I’d much rather have Stalker tagging along than Lena.” Luke chuckled as the wolf barked at his words as if in agreement. “And I do enjoy cake very much.” He added, in a innocent and playful tone. “So I guess this is going better than the last one.”

“I don’t know if I really know what it means exactly either. I..well, I know the traditional sense of it but in my experience it was always fake and forced. I also don’t look at myself as the traditional type of woman, which is probably why I like having you around, my Dear Luckas. Also, the occasions usually involve food so I guess they count.”

“Hm, so… Food and mischief by your standards constitute a date? Does that mean you and Jake have dates as well?”

Ess’ skin turned a beet red, her eyes darkening as if she meant to argue or get offended. The idea of Jake and her relationship being compared to her and Luckas’ disgusted her. She didn’t think it was confusing since she thought of Jake as family and that was as far as her interest went. But, Luke did have a point when mentioning the similarity. The more she thought about it the more her expression shifted to one of melancholy, her cheeks fading to a soft pink. Ess knew her first reaction wasn’t fair and so didn’t speak until she could figure out how to exactly respond to Luckas. She opened her mouth more than once, still nothing came out. Every time she thought she could explain it, she thought of more reasons her words would confuse Luckas.

“I…Well…you see…er..” Essence sighed, staring off as the other pups came over to sniff circles around Stalker. “People….who date…it’s usually to see if they would ever want to be more than friends. Family don’t flirt or have impure thoughts about one another. I…am not sure how to really explain it actually…except that, the life I led back then, for all those years…never..NEVER would any of that be a thought with Jake. Do you understand that much at least, Luckas? I’m sorry if I’m not always clear. It’s not intentional. How about this; I have not gone on ‘dates’ with anyone else but you. Does that help?”

“Hmm…” Luckas mumbled under his breath as he listened. He did understand, to some extent, what Ess explained to him, but the confusion never left him completely. He did understand about Jake, that much was clear enough to him, but some other things only seemed to raise more questions than provide him with answers. “Alright, so… Eating and getting into trouble alone doesn’t constitute a date… I’m not sure if I understand what you would consider ‘impure’ thoughts exactly though, Lady… Rather, I wonder what one would consider ‘impure’ exactly.” He snickered under his breath, not pushing for an actual answer, as if he was simply thinking aloud. Luckas nodded, seeming pleased with Ess’ statement that she had not gone on dates with anyone else. “That does actually help a bit.” After falling silent for a couples of moments, watching his feet as he paced, Luckas raised his head and spoke, backtracking a bit on Ess’ explanation. “Are we… Seeing…?” He mumbled, shooting her a questioning glance and not quite finishing his thought at the sound of a familiar cough, his eyes catching sight of Jake suddenly coming out from behind a tree and forming an annoyed glare.

God damn it Jake… >.>

But yeah, that always makes me laugh. It was one of a few instance of Luckas trying to somewhat define his relationship with Ess and I think his only attempt to outright ask her… Nice timing there, Jakey, really. *frowns*

This scene is also after Luckas’ first time having cake… Which, yeah… Led to him and the wolves developing a mild addiction.

About the title of this post… Wifey and I joked a long time ago about writing a relationship advice book for psychos based on our experience writing these two. Because when it comes down to it, when Ess and Luke have problems they will have their screaming fits, random bouts of violence, he’ll walk away and be pissy for a while, she’ll possibly cry a little bit and then he’ll come back and they’ll have an honest chat and sort things out from there. Their relationship – whatever it is – is honest to God healthier than a lot of marriages I’ve seen in real life. >.>

In case you’re curious though… Luke and Ess’ ‘first date’ entailed the physical and mental assault of an elderly man, then going back to her place to mutilate and murder some dudes, then dumping their bodies. And yeah; Lena was there too.

Fun times. 😛



There is a bit of a history to the scene I’m going to post below and to those of you who are reading, or participating in, SOF it may actually be posted there in the future although. Read at your own risk, although it contains no plot relevant anythings and it’s just something I wrote for cuteness sake. The history I spoke of, well… I’ll tell you guys about it in the end. 😉


Luckas sighed, holding back a laugh. They had been doing this for a while now; Lily followed him around for a bit then stood in front of him, stared for a few seconds, and then yawned vigorously. After some time of making the girl chase him down for this; with no explanation as to why whatsoever, Luckas finally stopped trying to get away and just sat down by the oak, compliant, watching as she stared at him for long periods of time and then let out another exaggerated yawn, Stalker joining the girl in her yawning and eventually just curling up beside Luckas and taking a nap. Finally, Lily threw her arms up in the air in clear frustration and stormed off. Luckas was intrigued, so he jumped to his feet and went off after her.

Lily hadn’t gone far, she was standing beside an amused looking Jason, arms crossed and a severe expression that was a clear imitation of the one Jess would give the children at bedtime. “It doesn’t work!”

“There’s nothing wrong with the test, Lily.” The boy responded as if not wanting to explain anything more than that.

“Nuh-uh!” Lily protested. “I did just like you said and it didn’t work at all.”

“Okay…” Luckas snorted a laugh. “What is going here? What was that all about with the yawning and why are you two arguing?”

“It’s an empathy test.” Jason explained.

“An empathy tes-…” Luckas cut himself off, a look of understanding spreading across his features slowly. “I see.” Luke sighed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “Well, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with the test, Miss Lily… It just means I didn’t pass.”

The girl shook her head stubbornly. “That’s not right. Because you’re not mean so you should pass!” She argued.

Luke arched an eyebrow at the girl. “Is this an empathy test or a meanness test, hm?” He questioned playfully. “Listen kid, it doesn’t mean I don’t have any empathy. I just have… a lot less of it than most people. So your test wouldn’t work on me, because tests are made for regular people. You understand? Either way, not having empathy doesn’t necessarily mean a person is bad. It means it’s easier for them to do bad things because they wouldn’t feel bad about them.”

“But I think you have lots of empathy! You do nice things all the time.” Lily argued. “You tell us stories, and you help Jess with Danny even if you don’t really have to… And you make Miss Ess smile all the time… and stuff…”

Luckas snickered. “Do I? Huuh…” He mumbled, scratching his head playfully as though he hadn’t actually noticed these things before. “Weeeird.” Noting the girl’s confused expression Luckas sighed crouching down to her level. “Listen kid, I’m nice to you because I like you, yes? I like Miss Ess… and Jess is just very, very, bossy, you know? It’s easy being good to people you like. Good people are good even when it’s not easy. That’s something I can’t do.”

Lily frowned a bit as she thought on Luke’s words, making a face as if she had tasted something bitter. “Are you saying that to be good you have to be nice to people even if you don’t like them?”

Luckas laughed at the girl’s expression. “Nah, Miss Lily, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that good people don’t do bad things to people just because they don’t like them, or because they can. They would feel bad if they did.” He asked, standing up straight and waiting for her to nod in response before starting to walk back the way he came, purposely keeping his pace relaxed, knowing that the questioning wasn’t quite over yet.

“So you’ve done bad things to people just ‘cause you didn’t like them?” Lily asked, following after Luckas.

“Sometimes. More often than that  because I could.”


“Why not?” Luckas retorted, his tone almost bitter, yet he halted and glanced at the girl with the corner of his eye, softening his next words. “That’s what empathy’s for, Miss Lily. It tells you why not.”

“Mister Luckas… Why do some people don’t have empathy then?” The girl asked.

Luckas shrugged casually and resumed walking. “I don’t think anyone knows, Miss Lily. Some people say that you are either born with empathy or not. Others think that people learn empathy from their parents when they’re still babies and that if something really bad happens then, or if they have no one to teach them, they never learn. Nobody knows which is true though.”

“My Mommy and my Da taught me then!” Lily stated proudly. “You didn’t have a mommy to teach you?”

Luckas snorted slightly. “Not really.”

“Is she in Heaven like my mommy?”

“No.” Luckas mumbled. “No, she’s… She’s alive, but… She wasn’t a very good mommy. See, she didn’t want to take care of me or my brother; so she gave us away to some bad people.”

“Like the bad people taking children away now?”

Luckas frowned deeply, but kept his tone relaxed. “You heard about that, huh?”

“We hear lots of things. Jess says we’re not supposed to, but…”

“I see.” Luckas smirked, a little bit amused. He stopped walking as he reached his spot by the oak and was greeted by Stalker lazily getting up from his nap to lick his hand. Luke scratched behind the wolf’s ears and sighed, unable to lie to the girl; even about this. “Yes, those people were something like that.”

“How could she do that?” Lily asked, clinging to Stalker as if he was a giant teddy bear and peeking at Luckas from behind a cover of black fluff.

“She had no empathy; not for us anyway.” Luke shrugged, sitting down by the tree and forcing a smile that was rather unconvincing. “You shouldn’t worry about that, it was a very long time ago.”

“Well, you know what? You have lots more empathy than she did.” Lily stated firmly. “So you didn’t need her to teach you anyways.”

Luckas shook his head, but agreed with the girl not wanting to extend that conversation any more than necessary. “I suppose you’re right Miss Lily.” Luke went silent for a little while before smiling wickedly at the girl. “You know what, I could really use some tea right now. Should we have some tea, Miss Lily?”

Lily’s eyes lit up in excitement as she vigorously nodded. “Okay! Wait here, I’ll be right back!” She exclaimed, running off towards the Captain’s cabin.

Luckas watched the girl wander off, his expression darkening considerably now that she couldn’t see him anymore; a reddish hue lingering underneath the dark of his eyes.


Okay, so the history… I saw it on an episode of Luther (if you’ve never watched it, do yourself a favor and look it up) that sociopaths don’t yawn when they see someone else yawn; like most of us do, due to their inability to form empathic bonds or something like that. I myself yawn on cue if someone else is yawning, you probably do to right? Most people do. If they as much as read the word ‘yawn’ too many times they’ll yawn too. Yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn, yaaaaaawn.

It totally works for me. I’ve yawned a bunch of times just writing this. 😛

Anyhow… I told Wifey about it and we started looking back on our scenes looking for instances of Luckas mirror-yawning and it eventually led to her writing a scene of Lily telling Ess about the yawn thing as an empathy test (I’ll leave it up to her if she wants to post that scene in her own blog), which in turn led me to write this scene. So that’s the history behind this little scene. I personally like how Lily gets away with asking Luke about his mom… He doesn’t like to think about her at all. Not to mention he’s not at all shy about admitting to some of the things he’s done and why… Or why not… To a five year old. >.>


This Game Is Trolling Me

Dragon Age always find a way to put my character in awkward situations… I thought it was a bug of some sort the last time I played that Leliana seemed to think she and Gabriel were in a relationship, even though they weren’t. And now my current Warden, Owen, is pursuing a romance with Leliana and somehow Morrigan seemed to think she had a claim on him and bitched about them sharing a bed; which, as far as I’m aware, never happened.

Okay, fine, whatever… So Owen dumped Morrigan, she wasn’t happy… He went off and killed her mom so now they’re friends again and shit. I thought that was over with, but now it seems Zevran’s romance is active and if I click on him for anything he wants to give Owen a… “massage”. Meanwhile Leliana is on jealous bitch mode and if I click on her she makes Owen choose between her and Zev.

Either way I go I lose a ton of approval with Zev.

Regardless, when I talk to Leliana she says things like “you told me there was nothing between you and Zevran” and “you lied to me, I can’t trust you”, when, you know, none of that happened. If it was up to me Owen would dump her ass and go with the elf, but since I actually give my characters their own little personalities in games like these… *sigh* he doesn’t want to, he fancies the bard. Meh.

I could just… not talk to either of them for the rest of the game. That’s a thought.

You can’t make me have ‘the talk’ again, game! I refuse. >.>