I’m Upset

Okay, guys. Uhm… The new block editor sucks. I don’t understand why WP is forcing this on all users. I get it that it has all this functionality, but I run a blog. All I need is a simple text editor. I’m never gonna use ANY of this stuff so why can’t I opt out of it? JUST GIVE ME THE OPTION.

This is such bullshit.

I’m legit considering moving the Nest. And I don’t even know how I’d go about exporting all my content if I do. I have a lot of history in this blog. There’s a lot of my life poured into this site that I don’t wanna give up.

I’m writing this post to vent, but also to see if I can get used to using the stupid ‘classic block’. Because honestly. If the only thing you do on your site is write and writing becomes a hassle… Wtf are you supposed to do about it?

Fuck this user unfriendly garbage fire.

Later, guys. I hope.


I made a Patreon

Yeah. I don’t know why; I don’t know why now, but it exists and it’s there for people to look into if they want. It is something I thought about doing before, but… I never did specifically because I thought ‘well, why start a donation page based on a reward system when I have nothing to offer?’ and well… Maybe that’s true and maybe it isn’t, but I decided I’m just not the best person to be the judge of that. I never really think I have much to offer, I don’t think I ever really will regardless of what I achieve. It just is, I guess. But I did put some rewards in the tier and set some community based goals in there for fun. Should be interesting if I actually meet them one day.

As for the pledge system, I had it set up on a ‘per creation basis’ because who even knows when I’m gonna post anything and it wouldn’t be fair to charge Patrons monthly. I also put in a two-charge cap per month, in case I randomly decide to get super productive and post a bunch in a month. To put it simply, if you pledge and I decide to post every day in a month, you will only be charged for the two first review posts I write that month. Personal posts, and writing advice posts won’t ever count as Patron posts either, even if they’re the only thing I write that month. I think that’s the easiest way to do it that won’t make me feel like I’m extorting anyone if someone decides to pledge and won’t make me feel pressured into putting out content haphazardly and burn myself out. Especially since I have to work and put out Shadows Rise chapters in a regular basis; if I try to make this a weekly thing or even bi-weekly, I will burn out.

Either way, here’s the link. Have a read if you want; no pressure. I’m honestly more interested if you think my tier names are witty than if you want to give me money.

Seriously, I put way too much though into it, tell me it at least got a chuckle. πŸ˜›


Ugh, Come On

I had to go out for a bit after my play session so… I just got home a few minutes ago, I’ll compile the events of today’s run for you guys in a second while my frozen pizza heats up, but… In the meantime… Can we just agree that no one fucking likes Norbit and WHY does that movie still gets air time? Who likes that movie? I’m seriously If you happen to be a fan of Norbit… I need to know and I need to know why. What is one redeeming quality of that movie.

I mean, things like My Immortal, Birdemic, The Room, Sharknado, Twilight… I can find redeeming qualities in. Teen Titans Go has gotten a stray laugh or two out of me even. Norbit is straight up one of the most terrible pieces of visual media I’ve had the misfortune of enduring. NO. Just NO. Stop it. No one wants to remember that movie exists. Just stop.

Sorry. I needed to get that out. Part 02 of PokΓ©mon incoming.



Computer Problems Part 02

First of all, don’t worry. This has a happy ending. At least, it’s happy at this point in time. I just thought I needed to post about it because… It was just really amusing.

I woke up today and Windows wouldn’t start wouldn’t repair, reset, no nothing. I waited for my brother to come home and he was like “Welp, this hard drive is prolly dead”. Awesome. This was the laptop I had shipped to me just before Christmas. It wasn’t brand new but I thought it’d last me a bit longer. I asked him “Well, I don’t have money for a new one yet, but if I can’t work I’m not gonna have it ever. So now what?”. He thought on it for a bit and decided my previous broken laptop had a perfectly good HD. He was turning on even, just the screen wouldn’t stay on. So the solution was obviously to take that HD and put it on the laptop that had everything else working. Cool.

The next hour or so was spent watching my brother tear both laptops apart and do the HD transplant. I was very apprehensive about this. Despite having a degree in electronics, he is my brother; who I’ve seen put a desk fan back together, realize there were some parts left and then be like “Well, fuck it, it’s working.” about it.

Nonetheless, he returned the laptop to me. It turned on. Adjustments needed to be made when the HD went “WTF, we’re not in Kansas anymore” and proceeded to update all device drivers accordingly, but after all was said and done. It’s my old computer’s brain in my sorta-new computer’s body.

And here’s where I get into a previous situation where I had used a program to create a custom calendar for Valcrest. And saved the calendar for each year we’re gonna need in all our planned stories into Dropbox. Or so I thought. Because when I first got settled into this computer (with its original HD that had none of my stuff) and logged into Dropbox to look for that… It was nowhere to be found.

I forget stuff a lot. So at that point, I thought… I just either didn’t save those where I thought I had or I just forgot to export everything. The files for the first arc of Shadows Rise were there and for one other story, but nothing else. Okay. I talk it over with the partner. I’m gonna have to redo the damn calendar. I made peace with it. We moved on.

Back to now. Previous laptop Hard Drive installed in the new one. I realize, huh, I have that calendar program again. I can just open it up and export everything like I should have done in the first place. Awesome!

Imagine my surprise when I go do that and discover that I had exported everything we needed into Dropbox. It just neverΒ synced to the cloud, meaning; it never did the thing you expect Dropbox to fucking do! So I was both furious and extremely relieved that I don’t have to redo all of that and immediately copied everything to Google Drive. Because fuck Dropbox. >.>

But yeah. A Hard Drive died, but… We regained a chunk of worldbuilding we thought was lost forever. So… A silver lining there.

And my Frankenstein-laptop is working pretty well so far to boot. Happy ending.


Despite Everything…

Shadows Rise has been coming along okay. I’ve kind of gotten distracted from it with the whole computer thing, but I’m just three and a half chapters from a finished first episode. And I’ve been very mixed between feeling optimistic and terrified about that.

I haven’t had much time to actually grow Written In Shadows. We have about ten followers at the moment. Right now I have a few people reading along as I complete chapters; prior to them being edited, and the feedback has been encouraging. So I’m hoping once the content starts getting posted and we’re actually active on there, those numbers will improve. All we really want is to share our world with people so, the writing being done (or this first section of it at least), gaining views becomes our main goal. ^^’

Funny enough that’s the part that worries me more. It used to be having people see my stuff or it not being good enough. And now… My biggest fear is that it’s sitting there unread. I don’t know if that’s better or worse. You guys tell me.

I put up a counter on the side bar there *points to the right* to keep you guys posted on how the whole computer thing is coming along. When I do have a new setup, I definitely intend to continue some of the stuff I started. Especially the fan fiction commentary. As much as it pains me to read some of that stuff, I did commit to it. And it is the most viewed stuff on this blog hands down… So someone’s enjoying my pain. πŸ˜›

More Twilight too. Because yay. 😐


On Being Alive And What’s Coming Up

Hey, guys!

It’s been a long while, hasn’t it? Sorry about that, but I had to prioritize some things. Even then I feel I’m not making the level of progress I want as quickly as I want. Such is life.

Shadows Rise is headed for an opening post soon. I’m not done writing later chapters, but we will be releasing earlier chapters as fast as we can edit them to an acceptable level. This was one episode out of five. And I’m hoping it will be well-received. Or at least read enough that it doesn’t feel like a wasted effort.

That’s my one gigantic fear about all this… That despite all the interest people seem to show whenever we discuss Valcrest and this series, when it comes to actual readers, it’s not gonna go that well. Doesn’t help that I’m shit at advertising my own writing and I know it. The RP had a lot of give and take. Both with fellow writers and with occasional readers. And it kept us wanting to move forward and do more. It pretty much brought us to think “Yeah, making this into an even larger project seems worth it!”. Because we’re insane, self-important, idiots. Bless us. πŸ˜›

Real life is eh. Working is eh. Lack of work is worse. I have plans and, hopefully, those come through for me, but I’m not optimistic, to be honest. I’m getting by trying not to think about it.

Focus on what is possible, on what is real right now, and let the future be whatever it has to be.

Anyway, that’s it for now, just a little update. Hopefully, when I come back I’ll have some concrete good news to share. πŸ˜€


Holidays, Grief, and Music

Hey, guys!

I know it’s been a while. December is a busy month; as I’m sure it is for everyone. The Holidays are drawing near, the year is coming to an end and all that. I’ve been great this year compared to the previous two. I’d say I’m running on 90% of my mental capacity now whereas in 2016 if I managed 10% I’d call it a ‘good day’. I made a lyric video for a song I’ve been obsessing over lately, so allow me to set the mood with it:

I’ve been wanting to make a post about writing grieving characters because a) I hate some ways people go about this and b) I’m dealing with a lot of that in Shadows Rise right now and will do plenty more in the future, so; relevant.

And I will get to that post eventually. I’m not going to cram writing advice in the middle of an update post. That’s clumsy even for me. I do want to talk about, you know, how I’m stuck in this one particular scene in the current chapter I’m working. And, after last night, I think I figured out why. It’s… Uh… It’s hitting a bit closer to home than I’d like.

I know that I talk a lot about how emotionally invested I can get in my characters, but this is different because it’s something I’m still going through myself in a way. I don’t know about everyone by there are certain levels of realization for me when it comes to losing someone and the worse of it is when everything starts going back to normal; when in my mind it becomes accepted and okay that this person no longer exists in my life. Because that tends to put me in this weird place where I want to hold on to grief. I want to keep this empty space in my heart because it shouldn’t be okay. Because moving on also means you can never really go back. It’s closing the door and putting something in the past. You can look at it from a window; through a glass pane, but you can’t reach out and touch it anymore.

Ugh. I don’t know if I’m making sense, but fuck it. Emotions are complicated.

I decided to make that video last night at around 2 am, because I’d been listening to this song a lot lately and I wanted lyrics. While I was working on it, it dawned on me that trying to write this for my character while I’m still somewhat going through it myself is what’s giving me trouble.

It’s been over a year since my grandfather died and, yeah, I’m still coping with it. His death meant closing the door on a lot of good things in my life. It meant losing a great deal of support, it meant selling the house where I spent a lot of summers since childhood, it meant losing Christmas traditions that have existed since before I was even alive… And don’t get me wrong, we have plans for Christmas, I’m actually excited about them, but a part of me just doesn’t want to be. A part of me doesn’t think it’s right to be.

A tiny part of me still wants to curl up like a child and convince itself this change doesn’t really have to happen.


I swear I’m not as depressed as it sounds, lol. I think… I just need to get through this chapter.

But yeah… How’s December going for you guys so far? πŸ˜›

In any case, see you all when I see you.


Halloween Fail

Hey, guys! Happy late Halloween!

So, I had some stuff planned for Halloween this year that I wasn’t able to go through with. They required some level of preparation and I was sick pretty much most of October. Bummer, right?

So, if I’m able, between Shadows Rise and work, I will do some ‘spoopy’ reviews and lists this month. But it is November and, November is the month of ‘writing your ass off’, so pardon me if I don’t come through for you.

What I will do this November is 500 Words into Shadows Rise every day and one blog post every day. Those are my goals for this November. Seems simple enough, right?

Yeah, watch me fail at this. -.-

Good luck to you NaNo crazies out there. I will not be joining you.


Welp lol

I was going to post Hogwarts Exposed, but WordPress ate my post. I think the Universe is rebelling against this fic’s existence, is what I think. πŸ˜›

I tried guys. I don’t have the mental fortitude to rewrite any of that right now. -.-